I played with Tammy’s children to allow you time to catch up. The children delighted in my company and even begged me to sleep over. Tammy spoke of me commonly and even commented you’d do well with an older woman. I must tell you that when you offend a woman’s vanity, you hurt her feelings very badly. You’d told me that your late partner, Tammy’s ex-fiancé, was killed on duty.

You survived the bus crash. Tammy was pregnant with Trish at the time. Tammy is now happily married but worries about money. You’ve been very kind in providing for Trish’s financial well being. You are generous. You show loyalty.

I was exhausted. The children were very demanding. You took strong exception to my observations of the children’s behaviour; you felt I had placed a judgement call. You mention often I judge wrongly. I meant no harm. An alert mother would’ve understood I meant no offence, especially when I took the time to snuggle and amuse her children. Later that evening, before we left, Tammy mimicked my accent implying I am a snob. You said nothing. Whatever did she mean when she asked you: “does she know about us?” “Yes.” I wasn’t asleep. I meant to ask you but I forgot.

We should never leave children home alone at night. It’s risky. Never assume that because children are asleep, they’ll be safe. Tammy had left with her youngest late that night. I understand mothers don’t often have a choice but it’s best to be careful. We have to consider our children’s well being always. They’re dependent on us.

You refused my touch. I didn’t want sex. I wanted you to touch me. You pushed me away – creaky boards and respect for your parents who were sleeping downstairs below. I understood.