Alex’s father and I had had a heart-to-heart that morning. I couldn’t reach Alex and I was worried. To my sadness, his father confirmed a gnawing feeling that something was wrong. Alex Senior considers his son immature. He was sorry his son wasn’t with me. Alex had driven some place an hour-and-a half away and they hadn’t heard from him in days. He’d left his cell at home and his mother was using his old one. He explained his son did this from time to time and that Stuart’s death had something to do with it. Time was running out and there wouldn’t be enough time for Alex to organise his trip to the UK. In all likelihood, Alex wouldn’t be coming up but sought to keep an open door. I’d asked him whether or not Alex had been faithful to me. He didn’t know. He advised I move on. This revelation set me back deeply and I went into an immediate emotional block. Despite the pain, I wrote the e-mail hoping it would signify a dignified end to the relationship.

Monday, 10 June

Be back home later today. Cell battery very flat. Speak later.

Smile.

Tuesday, 11 June

On the road. Thinking of you.

Smile.

What are you up to, sexy?